The Obstacle Is the Way — A method for excellence in any and all situations

@harrystebbings holy shit, Harry, you're only 18? What will you being doing at 22, then? Taking over the world? :P

@harrystebbings The hardest part is not other people, it's you. There's a reason that young people are typically made to wait and not put into major positions of responsibility. We don't know enough yet, we haven't been fully tested, it can go to our heads, we might be sensitive or not in control of our emotions, etc etc The reality is that these stereotypes are not totally untrue. We do have those weaknesses. The hardest part about being trusted earlier than other people is that battle against the sense. It's proving that you really were worth it and that you are different. It means putting up with bullshit. It means not doing the things you'd maybe like to do or naturally would do. It's that whole "be twice as good" thing. Not everyone is capable of it, but that's what it takes.

@bentossell That's a great question. I'm honestly a bit stuck on it. I'll tell you one thing I'm working on a lot now: I always thought that discipline was a matter of saying yes. Of being organized, of setting up rules, of sticking to things. Now I'm starting to see that not only is saying NO a big part of it, that often times discipline is a matter of doing nothing. Of waiting, of passing, of focusing really only on the important things. Even as I type this I realize how silly my old understanding was, but I guess part of me always that that I should be doing a million things all the time. Which is ridiculous and exhausting.

@kikischirr I don't want to say I don't care about piracy but my theory is, if you make good stuff people will eventually buy it. So don't worry about it. In any case, TOITW was much less of a 'departure' than people thing. The first book offer I ever got was for a book about stoic philosophy but I passed on it because I wasn't ready (to be honest, I thought I was but Robert Greene astutely advised otherwise). I actually sold Obstacle immediately after TMIL came out. But then the idea for Growth Hacker came up and the book was released first. Really though the book was inspired by the fact that stoicism changed my life since I'd been introduced to it at 19 and I really really wanted to share it with people. Robert Greene is right when he identifies stories as being the best way to communicate an idea to people.

@ryanholiday That's really interesting! Thanks for clarifying the timeline. I'm glad you and Robert Greene are still in touch--will there ever be another collaboration? One where both your names are on the cover?

@kikischirr I would be obviously very honored and flattered if that ever happened. It'd be fun to talk about American Apparel some day. Really though, I'm plenty happy helping him however I can. I would be his research assistant again in two seconds if I had the time and if he would have me. Though my wife would probably kill me. It was just such an amazing opportunity to be directed to read these things and to be accountable to such a incisive, brilliant person. Half the things I'm proud of in TOITW are basically leftover scraps from research I did for assignments he gave me.

@therealsjr Hmmm. So if all the knowledge was the same, basically we're either talking about spotting and jumping on other opportunities or we're talking personal stuff/mindset. I have no regrets or no real unsatisfied needs so I don't think I'd handle the career part much different. I would tell myself to relax. I think I'd like to instill some patience and self-care in myself that I was lacking when I was younger. I know that's pretty common for young people. You're dying to prove yourself, you think you'll die if you don't. But the reality is, a lot of this is out of your control. If you can relax, if you can enjoy what's happening, you'll still have the same success but you'll actually appreciate it. It won't be so painful and costly.

@melissajoykong Pragmatism is a favorite of mine. Of course, what I talk about in the book is the idea that you accept what comes to you and then make the most of it. It's a sort of an iterative, adaptive, resilient, mental model. I call it stoic optimism. In terms of fallacies...if only there were just one. The sunk cost fallacy is a big one. The confirmation bias is a huge problem.

@ryanholiday @melissajoykong good article on the sunk cost fallacy: https://litemind.com/sunk-cost-b...

@jeffumbro I'm going to change your question a little bit because I don't really care WHEN books were published. Some of my favorite reads this year: The Hunters by James Salter A Night To Remember by Walter Lord The Epic of Gilgamesh The Sorrows of Young Werther by Goethe Facing Codependence by Pia Mellody Enemies of Promise by Cyril Connolly Ben Franklin by Walter Isaacson Creatocracy by Elizabeth Wurtzel

@kaufman_jack Fuck. Donald. Trump. I only respect people who do things on purpose, not someone driven by some compulsion for attention and inability to consider the words that come out of their mouth. What is he even getting out of this? It's certainly not making him money. It certainly won't make him president. He's just a troll.

@eliotpeper You know the word Epicurean? How we think it means a glutton for pleasure. A quick definition from Wikipedia is actually "Epicurus believed that what he called "pleasure" is the greatest good, but the way to attain such pleasure is to live modestly and to gain knowledge of the workings of the world and the limits of one's desires." Stoicism is misunderstood to an equal degree. It's supposedly a philosophy of fatalistic resignation and an appetite for pain. In reality, it is a formula for resilience and optimism and strength. It's a set of ethics that guide you towards the good life in a world that is unpredictable and often unforgiving. That's all. In terms of why books are important...I hate this question. It seems silly how often people ask me to make a positive use case for books, as though in all of human history there was some other thing more responsible for success, brilliance, creativity, progress, wisdom and relief.

@ryanholiday definitely subscribe to this. i have for years and have found lots of great reads from it.

@esbvn I wish I could upload a picture but the view behind my computer monitor is a farm with a lake and I can watch my pet goats prance around. For lunch, I cooked myself a steak and read on the porch. When this AMA is over, I am going to go fishing with a friend that's come over. I might do some target shooting too. I feel very fortunate to have a little slice of the American Dream here in Texas.

@micah That's a very cool questions. Honestly, my life is pretty public and I like writing about it so there is less than you think. I suppose I am very proud of my relationship--it's been 8 years now with my wife. She's been with me since the beginning. Not everyone gets to meet her but when they do they seem to *get* it.

@anarghya503 1) I found my passions by following and learning from really great mentors who had found theirs. Our paths have differed to certain degrees but it was in their model and with their support that I was able to explore and take risks and learn. 2) The answer to this question is to pay forward what I was talking about in answer #1. I also somewhat bristle at the concept of privilege. We're ALL advantaged and disadvantaged in various ways. It's absurd to think these things can or should be ranked. The idea should be to: recognize talent when you see it, help the people that you can, empathize with everyone.

@frame_arran Aaron Ginn put it very well when he said that growth hacking is a mindset and not a toolkit. I try to direct people to that little proverb when they ask me for specific tactics. You wouldn't say to Napoleon "what's a good way to win battles" because every battle is different and even individual battles only matter as part of the larger strategic goal. Does this make sense? The specifics of your company--your resources, your market, your budget, your goals--that are going to determine what the essentials are for you. But even realizing that as a marketer your job is to GROW a company, already puts you ahead of most of your sadly ignorant and worthless peers.

@ryanholiday @frame_arran Haha, that is useful and good advice. I very much like your proverb and will undoubtedly find myself using it in the future

@allnacho This passage from Marcus Aurelius is pretty damn good. "“When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: the people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous and surly. They are like this because they can't tell good from evil. But I have seen the beauty of good, and the ugliness of evil, and have recognized that the wrongdoer has a nature related to my own - not of the same blood and birth, but the same mind, and possessing a share of the divine. And so none of them can hurt me. No one can implicate me in ugliness. Nor can I feel angry at my relative, or hate him. We were born to work together like feet, hands and eyes, like the two rows of teeth, upper and lower. To obstruct each other is unnatural. To feel anger at someone, to turn your back on him: these are unnatural.” In terms of AA, for me it was all about connections. Robert Greene was on the board. He got me an entry level position with the CEO and then I helped create my own job there.