Every week @tuckermax@charliehoehn and @nilsAparker sit down with me to help with my problems meeting and dating women. I am a pale ginger from Ohio who just moved to Austin.
This episode @nilsAparker steps in via Skype while @charliehoehn is playing it away. He and Tucker dive deeper into why I get nervous on first dates and how to reframe one’s mindset when going into a date to have more fun and be more relaxed, which ultimately will lead to those dates going well. They also talk about understanding women and setting better expectations for date.
5:00 – Understanding Women on Tinder
8:00 – My emotional response to dates canceling + expectations
14:00 – Recognizing, replacing ineffective or irrational thoughts
16:00 – Nils didn’t have a bad date on Match.com back in the day.
18:00 – “You are putting her validation of you ahead of your interest in her.”
20:00 – Having fun on dates
22:00 – Listen to the words you use
23:00 – “You have a right to want what you want.” 2 great analogies here
26:00 – Why blaming yourself for everything going wrong (internalizing outside things) is hyper egotistical.
28:00 – Dates this week and 2 things to focus on in my next dates
29:00 – Examples of “Your Own Version of Fun” from Tucker and Nils
The Mating Grounds - 1: Helping Joe