Share your one sentence messaging / pitch and get feedback if it's crystal clear

@shashcoffe any feedback / preference for the above?

@ckpleiser I like version 2 better, the first one has too many complex words in my opinion by that I mean that it make me have to think a lot more, which is not a bad thing but the second I can "visualize" much faster.

@ckpleiser Also left me wondering what you mean by "intelligent document", which then makes me more concern about the meaning of the sentence than the product itself.

@ckpleiser Version 1 has a lot of adjectives that slows down the flow. Version 2 is more concise but isn't dramatically different than other document programs. Looking at your website the collaboration and workflows really stand out to me. "Kiss time-sucking copy & paste, adjustments, and fragmented approval processes goodbye. Say hello to intelligent document creation, collaboration, and intuitive approval workflows all in one spot." I had the same thought as @youreka, I don't really know what an intelligent document is but I looked it up and I think your target market probably does.

@ckpleiser Second one. Primarily because I have no idea by what you mean by tedious adjustments, complicated approval processes, etc. So none of that really hit me until your 2nd sentence on Version 1. Whereas Version 2 was clear from the get go.

@shashcoffe I like it a lot. Maybe one point for feedback. You could make it more outcome / benefit based and also more specific towards your audience. GetLanding.io helps marketers build stunning landing pages fast, without the need to hire devs, designers or waste time trying to do it yourself. Gain: I can develop stunning landing pages fast Pain: I have to hire devs, developers which are expensive. I can probably do it, but it takes me hours to do. What do you think?

@ckpleiser I think it's cooler than my version=) Thanks a lot, Carsten. I really appreciate your feedback!

@shashcoffe @ckpleiser I don't think you can take the word automatic out. Everyone says you can build landing pages fast — no one is saying automatic. Fast will be interpreted relative to a marketer's ability where as automatic is a damn super power.

@shashcoffe @dawn_veltri1 great point. Was keen on avoiding automatic because it also implies some fears and anxieties in most marketers (or maybe just me), e.g. will the page look the way I want it to look or will it rather look basic. Do I trust automatic? But hey, maybe we could try Dawn's suggestion and replace fast with automatic.

@shashcoffe Hi Alexey, the idea sounds great, but what differentiates you from other site builders like Squarespace or Weebly?

@between_team I cannot quite visualise yet what Between.app does. Having had a look at your website, I know do. Kind of. What about: "Give your remote team a seat at the table with a video calling platform that engages everyone"

@ckpleiser That does sound good! I suppose to help visualize it a bit better: If you look at our PH video, you'll notice someone moving from one device to the next in the physical meeting room. (The person from home, which is me!) With Between, people in the physical meeting room take out their laptops & phones. Remote members can move between these laptops and phones and talk to whoever they want. It's better than every remote member being on the TV. Instead they can all move to different places in the room. There is a psychological difference, you'll notice your remote colleagues a lot more. But a more obvious difference is that you'll be able to hear your remote colleagues better, AND they'll be able to hear you better.

@mayasinclaire Like it but as a non-retailer I had to look up what share of shelf space means ;) Makes total sense. Could you narrow down small businesses even further to clarify who you can help the most. Seems like a cool product!

& thanks for getting this thread started @ckpleiser - great exercise and feedback opp!