Does anyone else find that telling people about your projects makes you not build them?

Daniel Farrell
46 replies
I have recently been realizing that keeping a project under the wraps for a while makes it more likely that I'll finish a project rather vs when I tell my friends about a project in the early stages. Anyone else notice this? Or is there value to telling other people before you build something? I wrote some more thoughts down here and am curious to hear what you guys think: https://danielfarrell.substack.com/p/how-to-actually-get-your-personal

Replies

Jack Smith
psychological phenomenon known as "social reality." According to some psychologists, when you tell someone your goal and they acknowledge it, you are less likely to do the work to realize that goal because your brain mistakes the talking for doing.
Gurmeet Singh
@_jacksmith Agreed, I remember I read somewhere that it is related to dopamine which the brain generates when we complete a task but if we talk about it then the same level of dopamine is released and you no longer have the motivation to complete the task because you have already got a kick of it
Michael Goldstrom
Talk is cheap and forms the backbone of most online activity. Say whatever you want, there is no accountability. It comes down to one thing: do you have a plan, and are you following through on that plan? If so, how is it going? Is it what you anticipated, or different? Is it worth the opportunity cost to keep pursuing it? That is where others come into play, helping you assess the efficacy of your plan and the reality of it. It's where the rubber of your imagination meets the road of real world implementation. It can be a rough ride, since when creating something new, by definition you have no idea of what that experience is like. It is often destabilizing, demotivating, and clarifying. The more challenging the project, the longer off results may appear, and getting to a point of some satisfaction demands constant reassessment of what you're doing and how you're getting there. Most people need help with that.
André J
First step should be to validate an idea at first to see if it's worth taking a bet on. IMO
Daniel Farrell
@eonpilot if you collect enough information on your own to inspire the idea, what is the simplest next way to validate the idea? Talking with people or putting it in front of strangers who may give you raw feedback? What do you recommend?
André J
@d_r_farrell Mapping out the market. Competitors. Size of market. Cost of building. Cost of scaling. Operating cost. ROI. Churn modelling. CAC. Talking to high level peers. Industry leaders in the field. Not granny and your neighbour etc. Dont do surveys they are false messiahs. Asking for feedback from various experts. Keeping in mind that some are just negative/posetive to anything. So keep probing looking for treads to pull for leads. Just mapping out the space really. 99% of makers won't do this so If you do you have a tremendous head start. Also You might discover an adjacent idea that is much better etc. Become a domain expert until you reach research saturation basically.
Aaron O'Leary
Lmao yes, I feel it's to do with excitement, you get so excited about the prospect of the project that you never build it because you don't want to see it fail. The excitement also leads to telling others.
Daniel Farrell
@aaronoleary Ah the fear of failure with just building the idea! That's a really great point. Yeah I feel like the ego-side of saying "ok yeah how brilliant am I for coming up with this?" and then facing the reality of needing to build it is something that prevents it from happening. What's your approach to side projects then? Are you working on any in stealth?
Anna Filou
Yes. Now I only tell after most of the initial work is done. Else I feel like “everyone’s watching” (even if in reality they probably don’t even care) and put it off because it feels bigger than it is!
Hitomi Abiko
If deep down, all you care about is getting your ego stroked and your status elevated by the fact that you have an idea and you *might* pursue it, then it makes sense that you won't build anything. You've already accomplished the goal! Congrats. But if your goal is to actually make a business out of this idea, then you haven't accomplished the goal, and so you must build the product. I tell people anyway to get any ideas, thoughts, and perspectives that I might not otherwise have. My goal is revenue. I'll generally stop a project if there's no clear sign/potential of revenue...
Ernest Manu Ofosu
I agree that keeping under wraps for a while can be a motivating factor. I feel that sometimes, especially, during the initial stages. The urge to surprise them can be strong push to want to finish it quickly.
Elias Fares
I think it depends...some people may find that sharing their projects early on motivates them, others may experience the opposite effect. I feel that not sharing does eliminate external expectations and distractions that can hinder productivity but for me, the more people I tell about it, the more feedback and different perspectives I get.
For me it is quite the opposite. When I share my project idea with the right people early on, it actually helps me stay motivated and finish the project. Their advice, validation, and support make me feel accountable and push me to complete what I've started. It's like having a cheerleading squad that keeps me going. 😅
Daniel Farrell
@sandradjajic I think my challenge has been that I'll tell friends, discuss it out loud, then get all excited and start hacking on something, but then get bored and move on where as recently I've been working on two smaller projects and haven't really told more than one person about it while keeping the details obscure and I've felt like I've made more progress on these projects than any of the others I've told my friends about. Are your friends you tell all developers or coders working on their own projects? Maybe it matters the types of people you tell. Curious if maybe because they may be developers they feel like they can offer the right encouragement alongside discussion.
Shaur ul Asar
IMO, One approach that has worked for me is finding a balance. Share your project selectively with a trusted circle of friends or mentors who can provide valuable insights and support, while also holding you accountable to follow through with your plans.
Daniel Farrell
@shaur_ul_asar The accountability can be good. Maybe it's useful at stages of a project after you've done the initial ideating and such – I've just found in the early days it's easy to loose steam on an idea if you've only thought about it for a week and then start discussing it and then you just move on. What projects are you working on these days?
John Carmichael
IMO it is all about knowing your audience. I find often the issue with telling friends about a project is that they are not the target audience... so don't take their input to heart: Find people online who might align with your idea/concept. I released a small POC https://www.producthunt.com/prod... the other week... even though this is a project for developers, friends of mine that are hardcore purest devs didn't say too many positive words... the regular programmer friends did like it... the wider community on here liked it more.
Daniel Farrell
@john_carmichael completely agree with you that knowing your audience is crucial when seeking feedback on projects. Friends, although well-intentioned, aren't always the target audience and their input might not align perfectly with the project's vision. It's valuable to find online communities or individuals who share an interest in your concept or idea, as they can provide more relevant feedback. Congratulations on releasing your POC on Product Hunt btw! It's great to hear that the wider community on the platform responded positively. It seems like you were able to find an audience that appreciates the value of your project. What steps did you take to connect with this community and gather their feedback?
John Carmichael
@d_r_farrell tbh not a lot... it was really an internal tool. I used the upvote as a way of validating the problem space more than anything. I think on PH some people try to view as many launches as possible... so when you reply to their comments, you don't often get a reply. How about you, what have you found to be successful in that sense?
Daniel Farrell
@john_carmichael I've been thinking that launching on PH could be a good way to start off but I also feel like my projects are more of the "landing page" phase than the usability phase so do a proper launch part of me thinks that holding off on a large PH launch should wait until it's more than a waitlist. It's tricky – the validation component on ideas has been something I've been thinking a lot about. It's tough to find the exact exact community for some projects, but perhaps getting it in front of the broader audience (in your case, developers) is the right move. How did the upvote validation go for you? did you decide to do anything after you got some upvotes?
James Hallahan
When you tell friends or family, you leave yourself open to taking on feedback in a negative way and distracting you from your goal or desired outcome. It is hard to find a balance between sharing your excitement but making sure you stay focused on the task.
Aurélien Houdbert
I guess it depends. When you share your projects with others, often they become 'impressed' and applaud you for something you haven't actually accomplished yet. Consequently, you receive the anticipated rewards and recognition without even having to deliver anything. However, presenting your ideas to others can also assist you in verifying their value. It may lead to discovering a suitable market fit, which in turn provides a boost of motivation. I guess we should all talk about our projects at some point, but just in time to get that extra motivational push needed to complete what you started :)
Gaël de Mondragon
I suppose it depends a lot on your personality and the people you have the opportunity to talk to. As far as I'm concerned, telling someone about a project builds a sense of accountability, and I think I'd be more likely to want to finish it (to be seen as the person who does what they say they'll do). That being said, be careful with who you tell about your projects and at what phase during the project's lifetime. Sure, the most important feedback of all is honest feedback, but sometimes you need some people to be excited for you and give you a boost of motivation. I have some friends who couldn't care less about my digital projects. They're still friends but I know it's better to avoid this topic with them ;)
Daniel Farrell
@gael_de_mondragon Totally get you on that! Sharing your projects with others can definitely create a sense of accountability and push you to follow through. It’s like having your own personal fan club, right? It’s important to choose the right people to share your projects with, though. Have you found anyone in your circle who gets excited about your projects and gives you that extra motivation? I have a lot of entrepreneurial friends but maybe them getting excited about me working on an idea kind of may be the issue
Dani
@gael_de_mondragon Accountability for sure! Also, sometimes they might bring up something you wouldn't have thought about and it's nice to see those hurdles sooner rather than later.
Ekrem Çetinkaya
I feel you. Whenever I told people about what I planned to do, I never managed to do it :). Now, my biggest inner-challenge is to NOT talk about my projects until they reach to a certain point.
Daniel Farrell
@ekrcet I'm exactly the same haha I have now shifted my strategy to not talking about my most recent project and am ALMOST 80% finished with it! Hahahaha A component that may have helped is that I started learning bubble and I feel like I started to get pretty good at it so when you feel like you can build your idea quickly rather than having to wait or hack it together in some janky MVP way you may be able to get there faster. Do you have a project you're working on right now that you haven't told many people about?
Michael Scheiwiller
Not directly, no. But it definitely takes a looooooot of time... Btw. We are LAUUUUUUNCHING TOMORROW :D
Michael Scheiwiller
@d_r_farrell honestly? I made it a weekend project to validate for a bigger project. So it is a MVP at the moment. I wanted to include more feature in the beginning. But then decided (a bit shorthanded) that i get first some feedback and impressions. I think this was a good decision! It will be built in public all the way now! :D How about you?
Daniel Farrell
@milappert launch daaaayyyy haha nice!! Yeah the time component is important too. Like if it is really worth building it should take some time. I've been surprised though how often even some of the ideas that I've thought were pretty solid have fallen by the wayside because I've talked about them too much before building anything. How long did you work on your product for before launch?
Caillin Nugent
It's the opposite for me, the more people I tell the more pressure i feel to actually go through with something. Also, just chatting about a project is a great way to really soundboard ideas
Mei
It depends. Oversharing can be a buzzkill even for you. But sharing the right amount can get you the support and encouragement you need to keep going.
bero tmim
That's right, in Islam the Prophet Muhammad says (finish your deeds in silence) and I remember once on Twitter I shared ten thousand followers, a post showing the number of interested people from HR in multiple companies, and their number was six, and I said "Maybe there is good news on the way. On the second day I disappear All six people, I was amazed, and once again I shared an email with people from Dubai, for a large organization that wanted me to come to give a lecture on educational technologies, after which I lost contact with the organization and did not respond to my calls and emails :(
David Allworthy
100% yes. As soon as you mention it to anyone with half an ounce of knowledge they tell you how hard it’s going to be to make it a profitable business. Then when you tell people with no idea about these things, they tell you this time next year you’ll be a millionaire 🤣. You can’t win… so just take a breath and carry on. Believe in yourself and your idea (keep in check with reality of course).