What do you think about "Couple's Therapy" for co-founders?

I did this for hundreds of cofounder pairings for nearly 4 years while working at Entrepreneur First, and continue doing so privately. It's transformative - best book to read on the topic: Fierce Conversations. Also a great article by Esther Perel on the First Round blog: https://firstround.com/review/ho... If anyone wants to chat more about it, I'm @zefi on twitter.

Hey, this exists! Amity Chicago (https://www.amitychicago.com/) focuses on Founder/Co-Founder therapy. They are LMFTs (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists trained at Northwestern University) who noticed that co-founder and business relationships have a lot in common with romantic relationships (surprise!). They work with companies and VCs around the world and I'm sure they'd love to talk to you if you messaged them on their site.

WE LAUNCHED THIS! So funny when everyone is thinking the same thing. https://www.startups.com/communi... We put together 8-person cohorts of Founders, moderated by professionals, and dig into really tough topics. Founders are all stuck in their own head - they need an outlet where they can share what they are going through without consequence (AKA a "Safe Space"). We've got chapters all around the world and have groups dedicated to each stage of a startups growth (so that people are talking about the same issues). We personally interview every person and work closely before, during and after each meeting to follow up on all of the key actions. If you're interested in joining a group, or creating one (we can host if for you for free) just shoot me an email - wil@startups.com There's no reason you should feel alone as a Founder. I'm down to help you.

Who would you recommend? I was recently discussing this with my personal coach on one of our weekly calls. I've had 3 partners in past businesses and now I'm in the process of starting another venture with a new partner. In each of the past I could see where having an outside party (non-board member) to conversate with together, could only create more synergy.

I never heard of this but it's such a brilliant idea 😆but not every couple needs a therapy. I would guess that it's only applicable in case of some sort of conflict. At my company the co-founders are an actual married couple in real life. They are a good match and they openly and timely share feedback with each other so they never needed something like this ;)

We provide (pay for) therapy and Co-founder therapy to all of our founders through www.atlasq.com. One of the core tenants of our firm is that the people behind the businesses are the real asset we're backing and so want to invest in their success as people and leaders. One of the things we've found is that, quantitatively, the top reasons for startup failure can all be traced back to the leadership team and many of those problems are related to mental and physical well-being. Its hard to be an A++ leader, maintain your energy and maintain your creativity when you are personally struggling.

Great idea,

Interesting! It's definitely viable when you consider a company and marriage crossover a lot, co-founders like partners deal with being around each other a lot, conflicting views on the future, financial stress etc

Sounds like a plan :D

Interesting idea! Coaching for founders is a well-established (but not universal obviously) practice that has a lot of fans and plenty of studies to back up efficacy. Curious how you might compare contrast coaching with “couples” therapy? Is therapy more backwards-looking? More emotionally focused?

I had a similar need a couple of years ago and this has worked well for us: Every Thursday we sat down in the morning for 2~3h out of the office (breakfast time was our best option at the time) and we talked about everything. Work-related, personal stuff, where we saw ourselves 10y from now, what are our political priorities, where we would travel to on our holidays, etc. Bonding with my partner helped a lot to understand why some decisions were being made. I say that because I knew that they were planning to be away for two weeks 5 months from now and they needed to speed up the delivery of a certain feature on the product. My point is, try to have a weekly, long conversation, with no previously synched agenda first. If that doesn't work, try couple's therapy.

I think this is why YC always advocates the founders know each other prior. My co-founders and I were all really good friends who worked on projects together at university but when time came we REALLY struggled. We took up coaching (which in my opinion was counseling) and set up up daily times where we can just communicate. We also changed to holding each other accountable to not just building a company we admire, but also helping each other be people we would admire. It really has changed my working life, and I think made everything a lot more efficient.

I had to do a double-take on this question because I thought it was on my Slack, not PH. My co-founder and I are building a modern couples therapy brand. We just finished fundraising and one of the interesting themes was how many investors asked about this (e.g., "would you do something like this for our portfolio company founders?"). We're super biased - we believe that everyone should go to couples therapy proactively and early. The underlying reason most couples (and founders) break up is that they let things fester. A small scratch becomes a gaping wound. Only way to solve this is to get on top of it early and ongoing. I think the best solution for founders in particular is some mix of intense onboarding experience to set expectations, ongoing quick check-ins to identify issues, and occasional deep dives with a third party to prevent those issues from snowballing.

Still trying to get my co-founder in personal therapy actually HAHA, though this would be a start. We're just doing monthly retros for now. I definitely think that being friends first and having worked together on projects in the past helps!

It sounds extreme! ;) We would need more therapy in general

Never heard of it before, but as long we are having more startups and even more co-founders, it'll become a necessity. Not a chance YCombinator took a deeper look on the subject ✌️

I think that is an excellent idea...like any relationship, a partnership is never easy and it takes experience to know when to give and take.

I think this would be beneficial if both founders are open to it! I've heard of athletes (ice dancer pairs, for example), going into couple's therapy to improve their communication and team work. If you are working that closely with someone towards a common goal and spend a lot of time together, I see why not.

That's an excellent idea. It's something we don't preach enough! I don't think there's a perfect co-founder relationship so the demand is there. It'll be fun to figure out the exact use case from the interviews!