Pitch Drone: PR is hard, get a fucking drone

Hi fellow hunters! We've been working on this for awhile. Hope you like it ---------------- PitchFriendly Announces the Pitch Drone, a Technological Breakthrough in Media Pitching New drone technology will enable PR pros to reach reporters in ways more invasive than ever before San Francisco – PitchFriendly, the industry’s foremost Media Relations CRM software company announced a bold new direction for the company. The Pitch Drone, represents the first foray into enterprise hardware for any PR company. "Bold times call for bold action and bold pronouncements,"" boldly stated PitchFriendly CEO, Joel Andren The Pitch Drone utilizes the most advanced hardware and software technologies to make pitch reporters as easy as pushing a button. "Artificial Intelligence, Machine Learning and other proprietary predictive technologies provide the basis for this innovative PR platform." said PitchFriendly CTO Paul Denya. "10 million lines of code ensure that the Pitch Drone works flawlessly." How it works Facial Recognition The Pitch Drone flies over cities and identifies targeted reporters using facial recognition technology. Artificial Intelligence The Pitch Drone uses artificial intelligence to anticipate reporter whereabouts and expected escape roots. Machine Learning The Pitch Drone identifies the appropriate pitch for the reporter based on the articles they have written over the last six months. Friendly Robot Voice A friendly robot voice uses advanced hypnotic ambient synthesized voice waves to make even the worst pitch attractive to reporters. “The future is now,” PitchFriendly CEO Joel Andren droned on.